Overly Excited Tourist Freaks Out In Philadelphia


– Aliens, I’m in
Pennsadelphia, Philavania. Home of the Rookie movies. Let’s go get us a classic
Philly cheese plate, and have a good time. (bell chiming) Holy snopes, holy snopes, holy snopes, are you joking my big ass? Whoa baby boy, Brad Franklin. Inventor of the $100 bill. Hi honey from the money. Are you joking my ass? Look at this nerd. Final Destiny, Pensacola
has a lot of history. Especially prehistoric danosaur history. Holy snopes, I am a pumpkin man. No, just one of my classic illusions. Nasty hiccupotamus, what
do you want from my ass? Man, Fiddle Daniels
really loves their rookie. (techno music) Holy snopes, there it
is, the Listerine Bell. It’s got a big crack in
it, just like my ass. Get inside my ass where all
poopies are created equal, it’s Independence Hall, where they wrote the Defecation of Independence Day. Frickin’ awesome movie. I am Jew. Ooh, little too soon, I’m not mad, but someone might get mad. Get out of my ass, the
National Constipation Center. It’s not hard to get in there, but it’s pretty hard to get out. Excuse me ma’am, your son
has sweet abs and cock. I went to come see the famous love sign, and they took it down for construction. I literally can’t find love anywhere. (whining) Hi, honey, check mape. Oh my god, go go go. Piss on the back of my
knees, there they are. The rookie steps. I don’t know if we should
run up them and sing, yeah let’s run up them
and sing the rookie theme! (Jurassic Park theme) Holy snopes, I’m so tired,
I don’t know if I can. (techno music) In West Pennsadelphia, born and raised, now I kick back with a
classic Philly cheese plate, chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool and it even was the best
day of my whole life. (techno music)

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